You may have heard the term “coercive control” in the news or on social media, but what does it actually mean? And what can you do about it? This guide, written by the family law team at Adel Jibs & Co Solicitors in Enfield, explains coercive control in plain English — what it looks like, why it matters, and how the law can protect you.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour by a partner, ex-partner, or family member that is designed to control, dominate, intimidate, or isolate you. It is not about a single argument or one bad incident — it is an ongoing pattern of behaviour that, taken together, strips away your independence, confidence, and freedom.
The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 defines domestic abuse broadly, including emotional, psychological, and economic abuse — not just physical violence. Coercive control sits at the heart of many abusive relationships.
What Does Coercive Control Look Like?
Coercive control can be hard to recognise, especially when you are living it every day. It often builds gradually, and many victims do not realise what is happening until they step back and look at the bigger picture. Here are some common signs:
Controlling Your Daily Life
- Telling you what to wear, where to go, or who you can see
- Setting rules about when you can leave the house
- Monitoring your phone, messages, and social media
- Tracking your location using your phone or other devices
- Deciding what you eat, when you sleep, or how you spend your time
Isolating You
- Turning you against your friends and family — or turning them against you
- Making it difficult for you to maintain relationships outside the home
- Moving you away from your support network (this is particularly common in Enfield and North London, where people may have been relocated away from their communities)
- Preventing you from learning English or accessing services if English is not your first language
Financial Control
- Controlling all the money and giving you an “allowance”
- Preventing you from working or sabotaging your employment
- Running up debts in your name
- Making you account for every penny you spend
- Hiding the true state of family finances from you
Emotional and Psychological Manipulation
- Gaslighting: Making you doubt your own memory, perception, or sanity (“That never happened,” “You’re imagining things,” “You’re crazy”)
- Constant criticism, belittling, and humiliation
- Threatening to harm themselves if you leave
- Using your children against you — threatening to take them, undermining your parenting, or making the children take sides
Threats and Intimidation
- Threatening to hurt you, your children, or your pets
- Breaking things, punching walls, or other displays of aggression
- Threatening to share intimate images of you
- Threatening to report you to immigration authorities, social services, or the police
Is Coercive Control a Crime?
Yes. Since 29 December 2015, coercive or controlling behaviour in an intimate or family relationship has been a criminal offence under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015. The maximum sentence is five years’ imprisonment.
For the offence to apply, the behaviour must have a serious effect on the victim — meaning it either:
- Causes the victim to fear that violence will be used against them on at least two occasions, or
- Has a substantial adverse effect on the victim’s day-to-day activities (for example, changing routines, avoiding certain places, feeling unable to socialise)
You can report coercive control to the police. Even if you feel the evidence might be hard to prove, reporting it creates an important record that can help protect you in the future.
What Legal Options Do I Have?
Whether or not you want to involve the police, there are several legal steps you can take to protect yourself:
Non-Molestation Order
This is a court order that stops the abuser from threatening, intimidating, or contacting you. Breaching it is a criminal offence. We can often obtain these within 24 to 48 hours on an emergency basis.
Occupation Order
This can require the abuser to leave the family home, even if they own it. It can also prevent them from coming within a specified distance of the property.
Domestic Abuse Protection Order (DAPO)
Introduced under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, DAPOs can include a wide range of conditions and can require electronic monitoring of the perpetrator.
Divorce and Separation
If you are married or in a civil partnership, we can help you begin divorce proceedings using the no-fault divorce process. Evidence of coercive control can be relevant to financial settlements and child arrangements.
Child Arrangements
If you have children, the court takes domestic abuse very seriously when deciding on contact and living arrangements. The court may restrict or supervise the abuser’s contact with the children.
Can I Get Legal Aid?
Yes — legal aid is available for victims of domestic abuse. If you can provide evidence of abuse (such as a police report, GP letter, refuge letter, or protective order), you may qualify for legal aid to cover the cost of solicitors, court fees, and representation. Our team in Enfield can assess your eligibility quickly and confidentially.
Where to Get Help
If you are experiencing coercive control or any form of domestic abuse, you are not alone. Here are some key contacts:
- Adel Jibs & Co Solicitors: Call 020 3417 3859 for immediate legal advice
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours, run by Refuge)
- Women’s Aid: www.womensaid.org.uk — live chat and email support
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 (for male victims)
- Galop: 0800 999 5428 (for LGBT+ victims)
- Victim Support: 0808 168 9111
- In an emergency: Call 999. If you cannot speak, call 999 and press 55 to be connected to the police in silence.
You Deserve to Be Safe
Coercive control is abuse. It is a crime. And you do not have to endure it. If anything in this article resonates with you — even if you are not sure whether what you are experiencing “counts” — please reach out. Our experienced family law team at Adel Jibs & Co Solicitors in Enfield is here to listen, advise, and act.
Contact us today on 020 3417 3859 or email info@adeljibssolicitors.co.uk. Your first step towards safety starts here.